From AZ to AZ in between and beyond

Sooooooo ... I didn't know if I would post on this blog again but it is time. Rather than start my ... what?!...8th blog, I will use this one since several friends will get it.

I post here because am indeed going to Azerbaijan but not before a few journeys in between.

I have been a bit of a recluse since my mom's passing...there are only a few friends with whom I have been in touch and even fewer received much email from me. It's been the solitude I have needed to get through this time. I do appreciate all those who reached out--thank you...and thank you for holding that sacred space for me.

So I won't get too much into the logistics of what has happened since my mom's passing. That's too draining and not...shall I say, joyful confab. It has been very emotional and not without challenges but I have done well considering.

I started teaching at the prison which has gone well and was creating significant momentum with WA stakeholders for a restorative justice model as an alternative to the punitive model instituted now. But just as we were about to sign an agreement it all, quite literally, blew up in our face when four police officers were ambushed and murdered. WA police officers were a major stakeholder of this peace and forgiveness model I was proposing ... not so much any more ... at least not right now when emotions are running rampant.

The crazy thing is that though that was a disappointment on many levels, I actually got a lot more clarity about my life initiatives following that horrific event. I had been wanting to leave WA for a while. Though I had garnered significant support and had really gained the kind of respect needed to make big changes at the state level, I felt a sense of relief when it all fell through ... down deep I know am really ready to leave. It doesn't make sense to those who believe I have established credibility at the state level but... if you know me, I often make decisions that don't make sense because I follow my intuition and heart. It always leads me to where I need to go even if it means uncertainty and building new relations with uncertain income streams. But networking is my forte and I trust that the lesson is far more valuable than the dollar so.... here I go.

My clarity was bolstered when I drove down to OR and CA for Christmas to visit my favorite Aunt (Mom's sister) who just weeks prior lost her husband to a heart attack. It was an incredibly loving and emotional visit but somehow was just perfect.

I started my vacation in WA really. I inherited my parent's timeshare at the ocean so the week prior (early December) before leaving to OR, I stayed there for 4 days. I hiked in the snow (a rarity at the ocean) to an icy lake, sat under the stars while soaking in the hot-tub, went to the gym and rode the bike while watching the ocean waves crash into the rocks! Something was lifting...

A week later I hit the road driving south. I started out in Cottage Grove, OR which is just 1/2 hour south of Eugene. There my friends Netti and Brian took me to social gatherings where I was reminded the little things in life can be just as flavorful as larger events. I loved that no-one knew of my current set of challenges. I had a wonderful time just being in the moment and letting the night lead me into pleasurable events and interesting people.

I stayed there in Cottage Grove for 3 days. I took a hike in the rain through the mossy green forest just off my friend's property. I thought I would listen to an uplifting podcast but found the sound of rain dancing on leaves much more meditative and pleasurable. I also took a series of self-photos which took more time than the hike I think...primarily cuz I kept missing the target--me!!!

K...not too bad. ...And not too good...

But I like my narcissism and did a lot of that to document my trip down the coast. Not the safest thing in the world to do while driving but I have yet to hear of a law that bans the fun. So I let it all hang out!

It was really a spectacular drive down the coast. I put on a little bit of David Sedaris and all traffic jams became a blessing-allowing me to hold onto that moment just a little longer and laugh and laugh ...and laugh. David cracks my shit up!!!
<----- me laughing. And traffic jams also make for safer photo opps right? Here are a few while at a dead stop. Don't I look safer?!


But really my favorite shots are of reflections off the windows and mirrors...while driving.
<------- Cool right?! And I have a whole series of side mirror photos from all over the US. Nice eh?! -----------> So on with my drive ....

over the bridge... and through the ocean breeze ... ...

I stopped for lunch at this pull off just outside the infamous Cous Bay ... I just barely made it in time for this photo ... for some reason I don't look as natural as I intended? What up with the angle?!

So I finally made it down to Brookings which is right on the border of OR/CA on the coast. Amazing little progressive town and not as outrageously expensive as you might imagine. I am so happy my Aunt lives in a community like this where she has such a wonderful network of friends. She's an outgoing loving type with a striking presence and engaging personality. She's a proud red-hatter. I like to think I am more like her ... at least I hope I am. She is such an inspiration. Here we are at a spot she and her now late husband frequented.

(Aunt Treas and Me)

The following day would be my Aunt's first day back since her husband's passing a few weeks earlier. I went into the high end thrift store where she works, bought myself a few skirts (since I had brought none for Christmas service) and then went out and enjoyed my sun-shinny day.

As many of you know, I am a HUGE water and water-life lover. As an avid kayaker, I have seen many porpoise and even whales while out in the Puget Sound. And it seems every where I go, I see whales. Check it OUT!! ---->
All day long I was again gifted with a front row seat where I watched gray whales feed and spout.

It was 68 degrees and so when I wasn't stuck on perma smile while watching the whales, I struck up a conversation with someone or sat on the hood of my Sante Fe and read ... or simply soaked up the delight of the day.

I made it part of my daily ritual the 5 days I was there to visit the sea at least twice a day. I was met with amazing sunsets, cascading ocean views and blessed symbols to light my day. <------- Angel shot. Me sitting staring at the angel ------>

And this photo I call ... what else but "sunshine on my shoulder"

After visiting my Aunt ... actually Aunt's. Another one of my Mom's sister, Ranae came for Christmas too so we had lots to talk about and catch up on .... Next, I went and visited friends in Ashland and toured around there too. Two days was just enough then I headed in to the mountains of CA to visit another doctorate colleague, Pam Coy. That was a quick jaunt. I was nestled in the sleepy little town of Dunsmuir for not quite a full day but enough to have a wonderful visit with Pam and at least one self photo...couldn't resist this mirror.


From there I slowly made my way back up I-5 ... I stopped in Medford, OR intending to take a short break and possibly see the movie Avatar everyone told me I MUST see but ended up spending a few hours writing a long letter in the coffee shop next door to the theatre ... I had to get rolling though because it was late afternoon, snowing and I still had another pass to climb. It was a sucky, messy drive and I was fried by the time I got back into Cottage Grove for the night. Ate dinner, had a short visit, did a Tarrot card reading to help me uncover my mysterious life, and went to bed.

The next morning my friends left early as they were heading to the Rose Bowl so I took a jacuzzi, showered and made it up to Portland by the early afternoon to visit two more set of doctorate friends. Here is David and Suzanne's lovely home that looks out onto the heart of Portland. Suzanne is an amazing artist...her paintings are speckled through out the entire place. Seeing them was bitter-sweet. When last I saw them--in late June--I was bidding farewell and even had a lovely conversation with their son Jeffrey who is about 6-7 year older than me and whose wife is Armenian (David is too, Jeffrey half Armenian) who shared with me a ton about Azerbaijan ...well really, more about the conflict between the two countries but it really was a wonderful visit. Seeing Jeffrey again was especially difficult. He saw the excitement in my eyes prior to saying good-bye. I promised to stay in touch while overseas ... So this time again, I promised to stay in touch as I head over this time ... but not as a Peace Corps volunteer, but a tourist of sorts visiting my PCV friends who I would have been working along side by now. It brings me joy to think I will soon be playing along side them soon :)

I also saw another doctorate colleague Ruth who always manages to squeeze in time no matter how incredibly busy she is ... that too was a bitter-sweet visit for the same reasons. I didn't get to visit Georgette (another colleague). Since she married, life has been full for her. I miss her though. I missed seeing colleague Cathy Carrier in Ashland too because her husband was at a hospital in Portland preparing for surgery because he is donating a life-saving kidney. How inspiring right!?!

On January 1st, I left OR and crossed over the Columbia river into WA. Going back to Shelton brings up a lot of letting go but I am re-fueled enough to let it all happen. All my belongings will be in 5x10 storage unit in a few weeks and in about a month I will be driving off to Arizona (the first AZ). There I will assess my options for probable employment for a week or so then fly out of PHX into Turkey first, then eventually Azerbaijan (the other AZ). I also want to visit Georgia, and possibly a few other countries like Bulgaria, Romania, Greece etc ... we'll see. One of those countries is where I will spend my next birthday--cool not to know yet. I will be gone through mid-May, fly back to PHX, make a decision on my move and then drive back to WA to pack up my stuff, tie-up all my loose ends and ... if it is my decision, move to AZ--the state that is.

By the time I get back in May, my younger brother may have already started tearing down the house for re-model leaving it as a shell. So strange to see a house pregnant with Mom's stuff but soon it will be ALL gone...all gone--forever. These are some of the images I leave behind.... but will forever be locked in the recesses of my memory.

The lake has always been a refuge for me. This is where I grew up and lived this last year while care-taking for Mom. I am a water child no doubt and it feels a bit strange to go into the desert but it also feels like my calling and I am listening.

But...I will move on, live on and grow from it all. Life is full of mystery and I am embracing it. Thank you WA, thank you friends, colleagues, prisoners. Thank you mom and dad and family ... From AZ to AZ I will travel and unlock my calling.

Here I go!! Looking into the sky and asking for more ... knowing ... trusting that it will all be revealed.


Bring it on!