Am I ???? ... in the Peace Corps?

Date: Ahhhh, I have no idea!

Time: Well I just measured five full hands from horizon to sun, which is a basic guideline for when the sun sets so it must be close to noon…learned that trick in Camp Fire! Think I earned a bead for that!!

Mood: In awe of the vastness of the desert … it is so so quiet! No birds!!! So strange to hear my gulp of water be the loudest sound out here!

Other Peace Corps-like qualities:

Off the grid entirely!! Use rain water for dishes, dishwater for plants, snow to wipe out compost bowl, coats, mittens and hats indoors, wood stove(s) for heating, all shades and reflectors buttoned up for the night, all shades and reflectors up/off to thermo heat during the day. Patience and acceptance when xxxxxxxxxxxxxx goes out.

I arrived the Flagstaff area a few days ago. Outside a much needed oil change I have been away from civilization. Kate lives out on private land outside Flagstaff about 45 minutes. Where I sit right now is about 8 miles into the desert off a remote road. Like a scene out of the movies, you can sit on the porch for hours…maybe days and see maybe a car fly down the dirt graded road leaving a dust plume in its wake....wait, that's water language, wake? Hmmmmm what do they say out in the desert?

Living on a lake most of my life I found it somewhat amusing to hear sounds carry across the desert land much like the lake. Hmmmmmmm.

I received more than one look carrying a kayak atop my car though. Here is a shot I took while in Nipton ... which I thought was Death Valley region but I apparently not... I think it might be like calling Lake Erie, Lake Michigan...big and vast but uniquely different in what each have to offer.

I loved this little place though I froze my *ss off the first night. It was really windy and the back-draft was too heavy to start a fire ... Once I got bundled up I was fine but it was about 30 degrees. I used my kayak covers and coats on top of my 30 degree bag and actually was fine other than my nose that was froze solid. The next morning I started a fire in the cabin but the inside part of the chimney had rusted holes in it and so having a fire required having the door open ... was cozy warm though--even with the door open.

Here I am airing out my lungs ... and here are the cabin innards

Check out that view!

But I loved this place (except perhaps the massive train roar every few hours that shook ya outta bed!). Nothin' like a hot tub under the vast star-filled sky in the desert and a sauna to warm your bones. The hospitality was great. I stayed in the little hotel the next night and hung out a bit with another guest named Alvis.

Cozy right?!

Alvis and I bonded watching the Olympic after the Americans beat the Canucks in hockey. I was gentle on him ... bought him a beer to ease the pain. Love Alvis though ...so tempted to take out my helmet and go riding with him but toooooo cold. I'll look him up and invite him down when I am ready to buy a new bike. He's my newest buddy from on this newly wet journey. While I am in Turkey riding around the country on a rented bike he will be in Mexico riding his. So strange how paths cross and then suddenly we are on totally opposite ends of the Earth.

Hereeeeeeesssss Alvis!

And no I didn't ask him "like Elvis?" because you know he's heard that about a million and half times!

Here is his camera protector he made.
This was another thing we had in common--photography and film!

And then the 5 hour drive into Flagstaff...not without adventure though. I went through a preserve and into some really snow-capped mountains and thick mud. I fish-tailed for at least 10 miles in snow and mud and I thought...it'd suck if I got stuck here ... it was obvious with my tracks being the only fresh ones that this wasn't a path much traveled. But I am a smart driver and it was alright...I stayed on the road for the most part. Didn't take photos during that stretch though. This was two hands on the wheel, full on vigilance type driving.

On the road again... deeper into the desert Yikes!

The first night I arrived, I learned from Kate (doctorate colleague) that I would be part of an over-night retreat the next two nights. The first night it would be six 5th and 6th grade boys and the next night twelve 5th and 6th grade girls.

From the straw house looking out onto the amphitheater

Looking out onto the Ranch house

What makes this feel a bit like the Peace Corps, is that this charter school which, by the way has grown significantly since I was here working with the kids on their dreams in ‘02, because this is on Navajo nation, the kids are all native. Hence there is an OBVIOUS cultural divergence from your average 5th and 6th grade boy. The boys in particular have a calmness about them I don't see often in the typical mixed breed American boy. I know...bad on me for judging but whatever...I am just sayin' that I really appreciate the energy these kids exude and it feels so different than other groups I have worked with that are non-Native so there ya go!

I LOVE working with Native American communities. I grew up near two small reservations and was told by one elder when I inadvertently was caught in a drum drone / trance that I had Shamanic abilities. It was so strange to hear that then at 10 years old, but I believed her when she then recounted with me aspects of my dream/drone state. To share vision or dream world with this elder was an exhilarating experience. I was told then it was one of the most sacred grounds to grow Spirit and to share it with another as I did her, allows for even a more heightened, deepened experience/awareness.

So in some ways it feels like a home being on this vast Navajo land and it felt natural to be with these kids. Though I was more of a guest than participating facilitator, I still was able to tap in with these kids quite well. With both groups there were kids that I felt gravitated to me--always an affirming sign I am doing something right.

With the boys, there were 2 who rode back to the school with me in the morning the next day. One I knew had an interest in me but the other one I didn’t. On the way back they both asked me all kinds of questions and I drilled them as well. I asked them to teach me about their clans and how a clan family is determined and they asked me how I knew how to create sacred ceremonies. This surprised me some since my attempt to get the guys involved in a kind of instrumental shake-down following a long evening of several other exercises, was somewhat short-lived. They seemed over-stimulated and a bit tired. But one of the boys, probably the most mature kid of the bunch told me as he was taking out his bag from my vehicle and shutting the door that he hoped I did come back and help out the STAR school because I was “bad.” The other kid echoed, “yah, thanks Sauce (a popular mistaken variation of my name), you’re bad.” Funny how some terminology stays stuck in certain pre-adolescent eras.

Boy Pow-Wow talk


Ball - game



Boys heading to chicken house

After I dropped the boys off I went to Kate’s other home near the school. Cell phones still have weak signals here in this remote area so I took my chances with decent internet connection. I have used Skype once prior (thanks Jenni!) but now I was relying on it and other internet technology to make phone calls to wrap things before leaving the states. I was able to get my I-pod touch turned into a phone through an application called Fring, a SIP phone number, and VOIP service. Though my voice is muffled some when talking on my Ipod touch—It works!! So as long as I have WiFi I can receive and call using my Ipod touch (not an I-phone). Another application I can use in the US and Canada is ICall allowing for free phone calls. Skype is probably the most reliable especially since I can use it on my computer also so I am kinda excited to try it all out.

I also have a text service and another internet-based service that allows friends overseas to use an access code and leave a voice mail when we are trying to get in touch with one another--I just pick up the call online ... I think … still need to figure out if the access code will work in the countries I will be in. So here’s to technology!

After a rather frustrating ordeal trying to get a Greyhound ticket online to PHX from Flagstaff, I noticed it was late and the girls were likely already at the ranch. So I took off to enjoy an evening with this group … there were some serious “groupies” and other strong personalities but it allowed for Shaman Shaz to work a little magic.

One of the girls, who in my observation is a natural leader, would literally collapse if she felt she was not being heard. She first fell to the ground after a loosing battle of tug-a-war, so I took her aside, walked and talked as I took her with me to feed the chickens. I wanted to learn more about her. Smart kid! She reminded me a little of myself with a bit of impatience when she was done with the task at hand and ready to move on. But it was amazing to see her orchestrate the beauty pageant show. However, after about an hour of “leading” and some of the girls wanting to pitch in some ideas of their own, she became upset when she felt she no longer was being heard. She came to me and wept. We talked about her amazing leadership skills and that one of the biggest tricks in being a good leader is to help others who want to model the same kind of leadership she demonstrated, and allow them to take a turn in leading when they feel called. I asked if she thought she could try that out-support another in being a leader. She shook her head in the affirmative. Later in the eve when she tried pushing her ideas onto another a bit and started to get testy, I whispered to her if she remembered our little pow-wow talk, she shook her head and began asking this other girl how she could help her with the idea she had in mind. She asked some perfect questions!

This little one and another had “head-aches” from time to time so we engaged in a sacred healing which really intrigued the girls …I have done a fair amount of energy work / readings so it was both grounding and a good discharge. Later another girl came to me while I was starting a fire and asked how I learned the sacred healing I did with the two girls because her grandma did the same kind of thing with rocks and sweeping away the “bad” energy (I called it toxic energy) and bringing in the Spirit guides… I could honestly reply that I was shown this by a Native elder from where I grew up… I didn’t share that I went to massage school and spiritual retreats also but I’d say they all have contributed.

So though the night went long and the girls really got into the fright of “Skin-walkers” which from what I gathered from their intriguing mythical stories passed down onto them or even a personal experience within the family, it is similar to evil spirits or ghosts. Naturally these creatures often are half animal as well…so intriguing!! Anyhow the two days/nights were a good introduction to what I might be doing more fully in the not too distant future.

So … I spoke to a friend in Azerbaijan who asked when I would be overseas and like today I had to think about it. I have been SOOOOOOOO in the moment. I had to stop and pause here and count on my fingers… in 4 days I will be in Turkey!! Which reminds me, I gotta confirm my guesthouse reservation in Istanbul amongst other things.

I have one more full day in Flagstaff area … man do I need to get online … and then to PHX for 2 nights and off I go!!! Enjoy the photos!! I gotta get to an internet connection!

Girls did way better than the boys in getting everyone through on one swing...they had the full on hand-wand timing and head wave goin' on

Nice back-drop eh?


Girl love


food art



Beauty Pageant show ... one of the girls is said to be Lady GaGa--you choose!

On my way out ... AZ and AZ here I come!!

So Check it out! I am GONE!

Odd to leave a place you have lived so many years...I mean I have lived all over the Seattle area, Olympia and of course my little red-neck logging town of Shelton where I grew up and lived with my mom while care-taking this last year off and on (along with the must get-aways for sanity reasons). I also lived in CA for about 7 years and traveled remote parts of the world so I know what it feels to be away from the beautiful NW, but because I have been wanting to leave WA for a few years now and have had opportunities that were taking me far from WA, the urgency has become so obvious that not even the ego stroking I received working with VIP state officials was enough to titillate and have me stay a little longer…and longer. In fact when the 4 police officers were murdered and my proposal virtually squashed, I felt a sense of relief. It is good to know that I can handle being ego crushed and come out of it smiling and move on!! And move on to ... (fill in the space) who knows where!

Of course there were some unnamable factors that greatly enhanced my urgency to get the Hell out but ... we won't go there :) Life is good ... God is good and I am embracing it and learning all that I can even in these days where I was so obviously on edge and have sported a bit of a logger town mouth as of late! Go figure!

Not even the loving tears of friends and clients could tease me to stay ... I am so so so ready.

That is NOT to say that I haven't recognized the amazing opportunities and friends that I have, who kept me in check and held me through trying times ... I don't know what I would do without friends but I am so very grateful to all of them ... especially those who have reached out these last months. The irony to see or at least talk with all my clients-turned friends, prior to leaving was a blessing also. Thank you all!!

Hard to believe that less than 2 weeks ago I was hanging with one of my most supportive friends Trish at Ocean Shores at my time-share (inherited).

It was a great get-away turned temporary home. I could see it all ... the ocean's ebb and flow, life paths drawn into the sand -- nature is always there as a constant reminder of the richness this path of life has to offer me.

And I am grateful for the guys at the prison who allowed me to come into their lives and renew spiritual principles with them, which in turn helped remind me of my own path! Crazy the places you can call a home for the heart. But the prison definitely offered me that place to express and be closer to Spirit and God. They also helped me become stronger with my own personal boundaries...and that is something I really needed to foster within my immediate circle that I was thrust into since mom passed. So here's to the guys at WCC. Cheers! And be good boys! Know I believe in you!

Because of my premature departure from the house due to some unforeseen circumstances, my decision on what to pack as I travel for Arizona, and my trip overseas became less determined so right there and then I decided to pack two bags rather than one as I have done in the past when traveling overseas. So, anything I thought I might want simply was thrown into a pile and then into a space bag. I would have time while at Jordon’s to decide and consider. The guesthouse I will come and go from in Istanbul will hold one of my bags so I will actually only be dragging two bags from and back to the US. Besides, I am packing stuff that I will eat or use so there will be less because I never buy much when overseas. I take pictures!! … Often of myself as evidenced here… :)

But thank God for Jordon. What would I do without him?! Jordon has two homes and he has been in CO for over a year. As much as I miss his presence, having a place to stay has made my life sooooooo much easier when I stayed in Seattle at least once a week. It allowed me to grieve at a pace and place that was perfect for me. Thank you Jordon!! I don’t know how I can thank you enough…you have no idea how special that gift was for me!!

Not only did it serve as a place to cocoon, it treated my soul too. His downtown-Belltown flat looks over the Puget Sound—a perfect place to be for a water lover like me…ohh my the life it invites! Here are the views …

And here are the views of my pile of clothes… I actually was so exhausted this eve after pulling two all nighters to get out of the house, that I fell asleep on top of them -->

Within a few days I was able to think about what to bring and what not.

It would go something like this …

Motorcycle helmet—CHECK… but I like to let the wind flow through my hair—UN-CHECK... But it might be cold and nice to have something on my head—CHECK…but it is cumbersome to pack and carry around—UN-CHECK…but remember what happen to your neighbor when she didn’t have a helmet but fortunately has had amazing support from family since her accident—K, that could be a serious double-whammy if something like that were to happen to me!—CHECK-CHECK—take it!!

Levi’s with flower to cover the holes—yah that’s not gonna work in these Muslim rich countries—NOT.

Air mattresses—ABSOLUTELY—taken them both!! CHECK-CHECK!! So that was kinda how it went for the ½ hour it took to go through it all.

A compactable sleeping bag was a late take thanks to a great sale at a sporting good place I visited this last week. I actually had not intended to take one but there is an Azerbaijan elder peer from my Peace Corps class who was really a wonderful motherly support when I was going through the pains of the loosing my own mother. She lives in one of the most popular mountain regions of Azerbaijan and has offered me to stay as long as I want but it required a sleeping bag…so, what the Hell I have two suitcases--CHECK…I am excited to travel there because it may have been where I would have ended up. I will spend at least a few days there. For the most part I have no idea how long I will stay anywhere… there are a few people I absolutely want to see in Azerbaijan and with whom I hope to travel with but really, I am just going with the flow.

So my life has been very full as of late… I spent the last week seeing some of my best friends. Les in Anacortes (right on the border of Canada and WA) where we intended to watch the Olympics that was delayed by 3 hours and ticked all us off. I found a European station online and we ended up watching it there. How stupid that we practically could throw a rock at Vancouver but NBC decided to delay broadcast for all west coast viewers! Whatever!

The next day I visited my really good friends Eric Andrea and their 12 month-old Karsten! God he is the sweetest little guy—love him! Loved playing with him and taking timed photos with him.

Here is proud Mom and Dad

We watched Apolo Ono skate and win a medal! I love Apolo Ono—he’s so spiritually rich! I love the Olympics and turned into a real treat because I have not really seen much more since then because I have been on the road.

I also took advantage to walk to Pike Place market on my final day in Seattle.

And I still hate these crowds! I constantly said to myself, “This is why I haven’t been here lately!” Crowds in the West are different than crowds in the East. Here it is like drunken sailors unaware of their immediate surroundings-bumping and sometimes slamming into everyone/thing… in the East it is like a school of fish going with the flow… in synch with all that is in its aura’s reach. I wonder with those countries I am visiting being right on the edge of East and West, which I will experience…maybe it’ll be some interesting combination of both?!

After checking mail with the lovely Katie who is taking my mail while I am away, I left Seattle early on Wednesday the 17^th.

I took my final ferry from West Seattle to Southworth (Port Orchard) across the Puget Sound. I wanted to be sure to catch this ferry so was 45 minutes early which allowed me time to walk up to a coffee shop and buy coffee gifts for my coffee deprived Peace Corps friends. Love Seattle quaint coffee shops! They can be found on just about every corner in Seattle.

But if you are one those friends who thinks to be a recipient of the yummy Seattle coffee… don’t get too excited cuz I have decided it is something I can mail later if I have over-packed ;)

The advantage of being first in line is you get a killer front row view while crossing over to the other side to Southworth. Man I will miss those Olympic mountains! From there it is an hour drive to Shelton where I would stop by storage, then the house one last time.

(check out all the orbs!)

Somehow I managed to fit in a lunch with Chaplin O’Donnell to review my work at the prison… So glad to have had such a positive influence!! My class has been said to be one of the best ever! That makes me really happy—mostly because I really believe in what I offered…much of which flourished through the teachings of my Doctorate program. This spiritual way of life stuff really works J

Then off to OR by 12:30PM. I arrived Oregon City at 4:30. I was so happy to stay with Georgette this time. Her home is tucked away in the woods just outside Portland,along the river. It sits on sacred ground--rich with blessed shrines

and figures signifying memorable moments of life. This magnificent carving represents her recent union with hubby George.

Ever since Georgette and I met in our Doctorate program, she has remained close to my heart…such a wise and beautiful soul! A soul sister for sure!! It was such a joy to take a nice long walk and talk about our mother’s.

Another doctorate friend Ruth came over for dinner. She had just returned from an India pilgrimage and left with us a kind of vibration that felt a bit like a lullaby—a perfect ending to a long day that started in Seattle at Jordon’s and ended in a cozy bed at Georgette’s. The combination of love and offerings rocked me to sleep and gifted me with one of the best nights of sleep I have had since … my God… I can’t even think of the last time I could have uttered those words of a good night sleep. It must have been well before my Mom’s terminal illness was diagnosed in early July.

Leaving the Pacific Northwest means also faring good well to all those beautiful mountain ranges of the Olympics and Cascades. Here is Mount Hood, the majestic mountain I affectionately named the perfect pimple in youth. I am not sure why?! Puberty I suppose…

I drove a full day to my Aunts home in Brookings OR. Strange to think it was just a few months ago I was watching whales and sitting on the hood of my car when I decided to do what I am doing right now. Leave WA and travel to AZ (Arizona) and AZ (Azerbaijan), Turkey and who knows where else.

I arrived around 5PM, enjoyed an amazing bowl of clam chowder with my Aunt, watched a little of the Olympics and then took a full day to check email and tie up some loose ends in Brookings. I went down to the beach and hoped to go kayaking or surfing. After all I have one of my kayaks on top my Sante Fe and my body board in the cab. But it was cold, windy and a wild sea…

So I started this blog, took a few self photos once again …Mac should pay me for this cool photo …call it Mac and mirror.

I ended my evening having a wonderful steak and lobster dinner with my aunt at a really cool art gallery/fine-dining restaurant, watched more of the Olympics and then to bed about 11:30PM.

Next I head south down I-5 into CA to my favorite cousin’s home (the daughter of the Aunt I stayed with) in Vacaville CA for the night. It is a long drive along the coast and I look forward to it in just a few hours. Then the next morning I will drive into Death Valley and stay there for the night (this will really test my supposed 30 degree sleeping bag). The next day I will continue heading east and begin life in a new time zone as I pass into Arizona and into Flagstaff. Kate! Here I come.

I will stay there and check things out for 4-5 days, then take the Greyhound to Phoenix where I will stay the night with yet another amazing friend, Tom who once lived in Seattle and then off to Turkey I go March 2^nd! No more cell phone, no more home but lots of adventure lurks on the Horizon for me. I can’t wait to be riding a motorcycle on my way to some Sufi rich region in Turkey… and wherever else I am allowed to ride one as an adventurous American woman on the loose! Bring it ON!!

Peace out!!!!