Living the Liminal...

I am starting with my tour photos from the first day and then end with some reflection as I took a walk down into town today.

I'll post the second day tour photos, which was a hike through the mountains and underground city tour, later...along with some video footage... I hope.



I don't know how it happens but I tend to do pretty well greeting folks whose country I visit ... this is the Master potter who made a teapot in no time flat. He is a 5th generation potter and uses leg power to turn the wheel--kinda like an Irish dancer...kinda! (video footage soon coming). I am holding a gift he gave me and my 3rd glass of wine ... the wine is AWESOME here (this region in particular is wine country). It just kept coming following my glass salute into the air and a boisterous, "I LOVE!!" After downing the first shot glass size offered to us tourist there was another and another that came my way as my Einstein look a like master potter gave me a special tour. I was very well buzzed by the time I was done with this part of the tour. Thank God lunch followed...and thank God the other tourist liked me and laughed when I stumbled into the minibus, collapsed in my seat and declared, "Ahhhh too much wine--bring on lunch!"

Unintentionally walking like an Egyptian ... Fertility God is behind me ... Oh-oh!


The entire day was in some kind of cave. This 4 course meal was no exception. A bit moist and smells very ... cave-like but amazing setting and ambiance. The acoustics were perfect for the musician playing some kind of funky keyboard just a few feet behind the servers. There were 7 of us on this tour the first day. Family of 3 Chinese Canadians, A Moroccan woman, Ali--Canadian Turk, and myself--crazy American. Guess what?! They don't hate Americans here!! At least not since Bush-whacker has left office.

Leaving the restaurant ...
There is always light at the end of the tunnel isn't there?! Love this photo!


L to R:
Ali is a cool kid. He is a 22 yr old Canadian Turk and was fun to joke around with and great to have as my personal interpreter. When the tour guide put his arm around me and asked me in English to use my imagination, "Can you see your husband and you having honeymoon here?" I replied, "Ok, Ersin, I am using my imagination but all I can see is a BIG- BLACK-HOLE..." Then with a swooshing sound threw my hand at the entrance of the cave like abyss. Ali liked that joke and so from that point on Ali and I were buds ... except when he was lighting up another cigarette. What is with all the smokers?!?!
Next photo: I am standing in front of a 17th floor cave! Amazing intricacy inside. Next Photo: The mountain sides looked like this. This was a popular place for the Christians to escape the crusaders because it was easy to allude the enemy with so many passage ways (tunnels) and because of it's location being far away from the sea where industry was strongest. Next photo: Looks are deceiving...climbing up into some of these caves took some rock climbing skill. I LOVED the challenge. (video footage of me going up soon coming) Only a few of us made it to the top of this one. I figured, what the Hell, that's why I bought medical Travel Insurance! Seriously though, they probably should have safety harnesses because it sometimes would be a long long fall. Last photo is of the 17th story cave.


These are all from the cave monastery dating back between the 10th to 13th century. Since most of the population was illiterate, they used pictures to tell their story (I sure would have appreciated that!!) The nuns and priest also painted their own images to share a story as depicted in the last photos.

Inside a cave home--electricity and even satellite TV. Looking into the kitchen area.

The first photo is the 2nd floor sitting area. The second photo, I am on the 4th floor which requires climbing to get there. Not exactly cozy being that it is stone and moist but the views are spectacular! While they do have stoves to heat the place the gapping holes create wild gusts of wind.


I had in mind writing about something else today ... but as I was walking down the street today- on my last free day here in Cappodocia Turkey, I was strcuk by something.

And to set the scene in this very moment I am being serenaded by Hildagard music that just started playing here in the garden at the 300 year old Melmis Greek Stone Home turned hotel where I am staying.

This mornings email meditation was the only email I received in my inbox today...I don't recall that ever happening before but perhaps it was so that I give my undivided attention to it and not the news of the grant not coming through in Arizona, or IRS needing my signature or whatever other things that have gotten me stuck in the muck of thinking. Here's the meditation from Renaissance Unity:

Friday, March 12, 2010 – Opportunity
"When was the last time you embraced a situation that you didn't like? Did you complain through the entire experience or did you run away from the situation altogether? If you did either, you missed a wonderful opportunity to be something that you've never been before. And who knows? It just might have been that one thing that you had been wishing for."
~Les Brown

I feel that most every aspect of my life is in the liminal... the root of this Latin word mean "threshold." A loose definition from Wiki (which I contributed to BTW, also in my dissertation) The liminal state is characterized by ambiguity, openness, and indeterminacy... Liminality is a period of transition where normal limits to thought, self-understanding, and behavior are relaxed - a situation which can lead to new perspectives.

Prior to entering Turkey I wondered which Turkey might feel more similar; Europe or Asia. What I am feeling is that it too is in the liminal. As a Turk living in this country I am sure they feel there own identity within it, but for me it really feels like it is a country shifting between it's ancient culture and modern day faculties. It feels European and Asian but for me, not one or the other is more prominent. The many juxtaposition of this in flux like liminality is all around me.

I feel this vortex that seems to suck me into its essence leaving me with a feeling of emptyness or not knowing. In India I felt a bit like I had come home...Laos, was a land of wonderland, Thailand a place of relaxation and adventure, Cambodia, mystery and pain...Turkey is my black hole. A place I can say I love but I am left with this feeling of being sucked into an abyss--a vortex, and place where the vibration of ancient life is as thick and vibrant as the present.

I stand in a Monks cave from the 10th century and faintly hear Gregorian chants--the vibration is intentionally kept alive ... I don't know how but it is so alive here. It is as if by keeping it alive, we somehow CANNOT forget what was...and what was is so imperative to grasp and understand from where we as a people came. The Turks GET that!

In my dissertation I have described liminality as a place where the soul grows. But its outgrowth--the wisdom that will percolate and surface is yet to be consciously known. This is where I am at with Tureky, in my career, and personal life. Some of my deeply spiritually conscious friends have asked, "Isn't it exciting?" I would say, I think it can be but I really don't have a conscious thought of what it is yet ... it just is and I am really just paying close attention to my emotions and the more I trust and have Faith the less fear I have... but I would be lying if I said that fear-based emotions didn't creep in -- in this year where I have lost so so much they do, again and again--in my dreams, in my conscious life and are interwoven into my daily existence.

But here I am. I'm not in Azerbaijan serving in the Peace Corps, no longer am I caring for my terminally ill Mother at the home I grew up, all my belonging are locked in a dark storage unit, my car in Arizona, and I am here ... in Turkey not knowing even what day of the week it is ... I only have a faint idea of the date because I know my Birthday is on the horizon and I wanted to be somewhere relaxing for that day ... but upon reflection, I am not sure I want to be defined by my birth-day so maybe I will continue to travel and just not know what day in this life I am a year older...who cares really. I mean isn't every day to celebrate? .... I have spent many a birthday alone. My parents, both now deaseased, owned a tax office so in my family my B-day has been lost in the shuffle of tax season for years. Strange to think this is the first year I don't have a parent not working the tax season. Maybe I will bring them into my consciousness on my Birthday and celebrate life and the liminal with them this year...because maybe it is in the liminal where birthing anew is really discovered and where WISDOM begins to deepen its roots--growing through experience and marked in an anthromorphic scale called time. BIRTH DAY.

Maybe in this etheral place of the liminal we, my Mom and Dad and I can celebrate...in a geographic place called Turkey where the mountains sing and the people glow. Maybe this is what life beholds for me right now ... just being in "it" whatever "it" IS, is my journey. I accept it.

And as the Afternoon prayer begins, a rooster crows, birds chirp, music plays at the garden, I slowly sip my glass of wine and all that this day offers. Soon I will be on a night bus heading to the coast. Ephesus is next!

Cheers! In Turkish Cheers is pronounced like 'Shut-up.' And so that is just what I will do and save that other post of crazy experiences for another day...